My New Credit Card

I've always had a reluctance to going "all cash", but I've known for awhile it's what I've needed to do. I've dreaded it actually. My mom was on an all cash diet growing up. I remember my dad gave her an x amount of cash on Monday and by Wednesday she was out. There were several occasions my mom left the grocery store still owing 10 or so dollars. She would hurry home from the grocery store scrounge up the money and return to pay the cashier the money due. The employees at Days Market knew my mom well and knew she would always return.
My mom never complained about her all cash diet but I did sense the stress as she would have to explain that whatever we wanted or needed that week would have to wait. Our financial situation at home was never desperate thank goodness but there were leaner years when we had to be frugal. My parents had 8 of us to feed, cloth and involve in extra-curricular activities. Provident living was just a way of life.
So whats my issue with all cash? Well growing up with my limited perspective of the situation it seemed to me that my dad giving my my mom a weekly amount of cash was controlling and demeaning. Not two words I would typically use to describe my dad. There was also some embarrassment I felt as my mom used cash to pay for things. At a young age it never occurred to me that using cash not only helped my mom stay within a budget but that I was learning valuable lessons in restraint and gratitude.
10 or so years had passed and I got married. Previous to that I had one credit card with limited expenses and financial responsibilities. All the major stuff in my life was payed for; housing, school and a car which meant that everything else was disposable. I payed for the things I wanted and the for the most part the needs got taken care of. It was no different when I got married. Sure I didn't get everything I wanted but I've never really felt deprived either. I also married Mr. Foulger (a.k.a. Mr. Frugal.) Being married to Mr. Frugal has over the years has brought certain challenges but it also has brought it's rewards. Mostly thanks to him we have never in 12 years owed more on our credit card than what we could pay. We have always moved forward financially which has been a blessing. But with each increase there was always a new set of expectation as too how much I could spend and the lifestyle I thought I deserved to have.
One thing I have always taken pride in myself is that I am a lover of all places where things are sold or given away. It doesn't matter if it's a garage sale or the Nordstom sale I love it all the same. And being the one in the family who does the majority of the spending the responsibility the how and where the money is spent is mine. It's a big responsibility and can be challenging. I don't think I took it seriously enough nor do I think I've gotten the credit I deserve for my efforts, but I do think it's me who can change that.
I've always admired my sister Traci for her frugality and honesty when it comes to money. She told me one time that being in control of your money is about making choices. What does that mean making choices? My philosophy was I need therefore I get. Relatively speaking anyway.
I have always used a credit card. It was supposed to me keep track of my spending while racking up delta miles. Problem is I never looked at the statement at the end of the month. Chris would say something like this "did you look at the credit card this month?" I would respond by saying "Umm ya. I know it was high this month but there was ________(whatever the excuse) that made the amount so high. There was always justifcation. How did that happen? Unconsciously that's how. I was spending unconsciously. Unconscious spending happens when you have no accountability, no bottom line, no reconciling of the money spent. It's not about spending money just because you have it it's about being responsible with the money you have to spend. One of Mr. Frugal's favorite sayings is "just because you have it doesn't mean you should spend it."
For the most part I really didn't think I spent a lot of money and ironically I felt like I didn't have a lot either but the credit card statement proved the contrary. When I spent unconsciously the choice of how I should spend my money was taken away from me. My feelings of being powerless and being controlled was of my own doing and not the doing of anyone else.
Restraint and wanting less is, I think, a good thing. It's having power and control subjected by no one else but you.
I have high expectations for my all cash diet.

Here I go.