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Thursday, January 15, 2009

Unbalanced Motivation

I've wondering lately why it is that some areas of my life are supplied with ample motivation while others contain a mere drop. I know you can't compare all things. For instance, I get no high from cleaning the bathroom like I do from running and so it explains why I have more motivation to run because... well, it makes me feel good. I suppose I could use stronger cleaning agents to achieve a similar high, but really, why is it that I can drag myself out of bed and run for 8 miles but I can't even slowly creep toward achieving other goals or dreams. It's like I'm waiting for the right moment (which will never come) and hoping in that moment all my talents will be developed and then bang... magic will ensue. I have 3 children and with each child I have gained 40 pounds! And it hasn't been easy to loose that last 20 pounds, but somehow with each one I got back on the train and did what was necessary to lose the weight and stay fit. I was patient, for the most part, with myself when it came to loosing my weight. Why then can't I look at my other hopes, dreams and aspirations the same way? Is it because I know it may be long and at times a difficult process? Well maybe a little but, I think the greater reason has to do with the F word. Not that word silly, the other F word. FEAR. I know I have it in me to sweat it out just like I have in other area of my life but I will confess I don't want to fail. And I've let that fear of failing completely paralyze me from making any kind of movement. Newton's first law of motions states that an object in rest will remain in rest unless acted upon. Yes, I know that nothing will change unless I act.

OK so although I don't believe in making resolutions because I believe resolutions are a set up for failure, I do want this year to be about moving forward with at least some degree of speed toward something anything really and just see what happens.

I don't have many regrets up to this point and I certainly don't want to start now just because I let the F word creep into my life.

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